INSIGHTS

"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can't accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through."

Rosalynn Carter

Former American First Lady

A distinguished American psychotherapist has said that no one, as far as we know, is born neurotic. We learn to become neurotic as a result of our upbringing. We are raised by other human beings and they literally teach us to become neurotic.

If a child is raised to believe that intelligence and beauty are worthwhile traits, and that he is bright and handsome, well, he will tend to look upon himself as "good" and to have a favourable self-concept. But if he is raised to believe that he is stupid and ugly, he will tend to look upon himself as "bad" and to have a poor self-concept.

Our early self-concepts depend upon the concepts that others have toward us. If those who are important in the life of a child generally blame him, he will learn to blame himself; if they consistently accept him, he will learn to accept himself. That does not mean that the self-concept a child first learns is absolutely final and crucial; he can, later in life, change it for better or worse. But it's hard. And this early self-concept is most important, and it does tend to set the pattern for later attitudes and behaviour.

I read somewhere that self-confidence is like a psychological credit card. And I can still remember my mother telling me that I could do anything I set my heart upon. To tell a youngster he or she is great is to give him the kind of self-image he needs to build a meaningful life for himself. Youngsters will discover their limitations, their blind spots, the areas in which they have little or no aptitude, soon enough without our help. Self confidence is a kind of psychological credit card and is of far greater value than any other we can carry. When we see someone who is neurotic, it should elicit our sympathy in the realization that the person was not born that way...he was taught to be neurotic by his elders. Neuroses are like chains that are put on children to hinder them in their development and activities.

Earl Nightingale